So, bye-bye, Bulgaria. Here
I've seen kiwi trees with nice woolly kiwis.
I've picked up figs and eaten them straight away.
I've seen ready-to-eat grapes on the vines.
I've seen turkeys, hens, swallows.
I've smelled dozens of roses.
I've walked barefoot on the field road.
I've learned the number pi to the 32nd decimal place and the number e to the 27th. Don't ask me what for. It just happened, one evening, in a matter of less than 5 minutes. I was enjoying several arias to such an extent that I felt one with the music and started to sing myself. It was difficult to believe it was me, my voice, so deep and nice. That was pretty amazing, as I only hope to make up for lost time and have some lessons of basic singing one day.
I've observed a lot of toddlers on the beach.
I've lacquered the wooden joists on the balcony.
I've received and got furniture assembled, all the furniture items planned, the last one being my lovely loft bed got today =)
I've had time on my hands and used it well. Well? Well, I could have used it much better, funny enough, you think you have a lot of time and before you know where you are it's almost over and you have to do everything in a hurry...
Friday, September 9, 2011
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Monasteries, churches, temples and other sacred places in my life
When I was about 11-12 I thought it would be right for me to go into convent later on. I don't remember my reasons. I guess I wasn't a child when I was supposed to be one. I was a little adult, way too serious and thoughtful. (And I tried being a child when I was in my early twenties =) ) At the same age of 11-12 and throughout all my adolescence, I would, from time to time, not very often, but regularly, go back to one thought and relish it. That thought was to give the world some time without ailments, illnesses and diseases, sorrows and other types of physical and psycholigical discomfort by sacrificing myself, by letting aaall types of discomfort come and concentrate in my body instead of spreading around the world; like being a second Jesus. When several years ago I came to understand the power of thought I was scared! Oh my, I'd had so many destructive thoughts in my baggage, but I think they won't affect me if I don't return to them consistently again.
There's no religion on Earth now, that I'm aware of, whose convent I would go into now. But the idea of real aid in boosting one's spiritual evolution by forsaking the vanities of the world, leaving the mundane and becoming a hermit rests somewhere deep in my mind and sometimes comes up to the surface. On the other hand, the world is constantly changing and maybe what was good for Serafim Sarovsky or Sergy Radonezhsky is not what we need now. Nowadays leaving people is not necessary, and being with people is more efficient. Other people come into my life and show me what I need to work on. Without them I think that everything is wonderful, I'm a very good person. But then something happens (as simple as somebody trying to buy something before me, without queueing up) and I get angry. Oops, I have to work more on it.
Two very recent moments when I felt something in a monastery were here, in Bulgaria. On 6 Aug we went to the Rila monastery, in the Rila mountains, a 2 hours drive from Sofia, the capital of Bulgaria. It happened to be a special day there, as that day some representatives of the Church and lay people had finished their pilgrim walk from Sofia, and the hallows of St.Ivan of Rila were open to the public. A lot of people lined up to kiss the glass behind which the relics were lying, and pray and ask St.Ivan for help. Personally, I find it very important, and when I have an opportunity I do come up and pray before the relics of a great saint person. That time it was something very special. While waiting in the queue I had 3 things in mind, but when it was my turn somehow I remembered only 2, one of them being constant judging, of which I really wish to get rid of, to let go of. I had maybe 20 seconds, but it was enough. I started crying immediately and went to a more remote place of the church to hmm enjoy the process. I felt a partial relief. Ask and it is given. Another layer of negativity cleansed.
On 8 Aug we went to a convent in Arbanasi, a village some 5 km from Veliko Tarnovo, a former capital of Bulgaria. There's an icon of Madonna and Jesus which is considered to be wonderworking by many (although oficially it is not, and 3 other icons in Bulgaria are recognised by the Church). That day I had some strong fears about certain issues and I felt my spine, neck and back side of my skull almost paralysed by fear. I had enough time in front of the icon and I felt immediate connection and a visualisation came to me. As if the icon or Madonna was connected to my main chakras and in my mind's eye I saw lines of differect colours, each line connecting the icon with one of my main chakras.
I would really like to live, for some time, in a country or region where Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism or the like has once been or is now the dominant religious tradition. My trip to Thailand in March 2010, with a number of temple and cave visits was a wonderful experience, but too short. Brought up in the Orthodox Christian tradition but in a communist and post-communism country, I remain away from any Church, but highly curious about different beliefs and practices.
Ah, I found a word for my views. Unitarianism, "an open-minded and individualistic approach to religion that gives scope for a very wide range of beliefs and doubts".
There's no religion on Earth now, that I'm aware of, whose convent I would go into now. But the idea of real aid in boosting one's spiritual evolution by forsaking the vanities of the world, leaving the mundane and becoming a hermit rests somewhere deep in my mind and sometimes comes up to the surface. On the other hand, the world is constantly changing and maybe what was good for Serafim Sarovsky or Sergy Radonezhsky is not what we need now. Nowadays leaving people is not necessary, and being with people is more efficient. Other people come into my life and show me what I need to work on. Without them I think that everything is wonderful, I'm a very good person. But then something happens (as simple as somebody trying to buy something before me, without queueing up) and I get angry. Oops, I have to work more on it.
Two very recent moments when I felt something in a monastery were here, in Bulgaria. On 6 Aug we went to the Rila monastery, in the Rila mountains, a 2 hours drive from Sofia, the capital of Bulgaria. It happened to be a special day there, as that day some representatives of the Church and lay people had finished their pilgrim walk from Sofia, and the hallows of St.Ivan of Rila were open to the public. A lot of people lined up to kiss the glass behind which the relics were lying, and pray and ask St.Ivan for help. Personally, I find it very important, and when I have an opportunity I do come up and pray before the relics of a great saint person. That time it was something very special. While waiting in the queue I had 3 things in mind, but when it was my turn somehow I remembered only 2, one of them being constant judging, of which I really wish to get rid of, to let go of. I had maybe 20 seconds, but it was enough. I started crying immediately and went to a more remote place of the church to hmm enjoy the process. I felt a partial relief. Ask and it is given. Another layer of negativity cleansed.
On 8 Aug we went to a convent in Arbanasi, a village some 5 km from Veliko Tarnovo, a former capital of Bulgaria. There's an icon of Madonna and Jesus which is considered to be wonderworking by many (although oficially it is not, and 3 other icons in Bulgaria are recognised by the Church). That day I had some strong fears about certain issues and I felt my spine, neck and back side of my skull almost paralysed by fear. I had enough time in front of the icon and I felt immediate connection and a visualisation came to me. As if the icon or Madonna was connected to my main chakras and in my mind's eye I saw lines of differect colours, each line connecting the icon with one of my main chakras.
I would really like to live, for some time, in a country or region where Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism or the like has once been or is now the dominant religious tradition. My trip to Thailand in March 2010, with a number of temple and cave visits was a wonderful experience, but too short. Brought up in the Orthodox Christian tradition but in a communist and post-communism country, I remain away from any Church, but highly curious about different beliefs and practices.
Ah, I found a word for my views. Unitarianism, "an open-minded and individualistic approach to religion that gives scope for a very wide range of beliefs and doubts".
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Hi there, I'm back on Blogger!
The journey goes on.
*In Moscow, no real changes in my life. Starting mid-September, I'm going to work for the same 2 language schools, the same locations, to live in the same place. In March I took the CAE and got 93%, grade A, meaning my level is C2 (the Common European Framework of Reference for Languages), although the exam itself is aimed at C1. Before I realised I have a document saying 'C2' (the highest level of the current CEF), I'd already registered for the next CPE session. And I know what I must work on.
*In Bulgaria, in 2 weeks we're buying a studio next to Chernomorets, between Burgas and Sozopol, and I'm there now, cleaning everything after the workers and buying stuff. That is a huge change for me! The first time buying something that important, even that it's only a summer time property and, not being citizens of the EU, we won't have the right to live here for more than 3 months each half a year. We didn't have anything here, so step by step I started setting up home. A couple of days ago I bought something like a camp bed (like this) to sleep on, to have an alternative to my mat. Yesterday I had the kitchen installed, today I bought the first chair, for the balcony. =D
People of my age and social strata buy flats in Moscow, using mortgage, but they get married and have jobs in the corporate sector - obviously, I'm absolutely atypical in this respect.
*As for the diet and water consumption, not much change either. I try to eat more seasonal food, from the Moscow region, southern regions, Ukraine, Armenia, Uzbekistan when possible. Now in Bulgaria I buy produce from Bulgaria (2 kinds of blueberries, peaches, tomatoes, cherries, dill, green and red pepper, cucumbers, champinions) Greece (grapes, peaches), Turkey (carrots, lemons) or Italy (white grapes) (well, and almonds from the USA).
*There've been 2 important family-related things so far this year - my granny's death at the age of 82 (? she didn't know her exact age) and my cousin's wedding. The former was foreseen, and when I saw her on Dec 30, I realised it was the last time, as I was going to Scandinavia for the winter vacation planned well in advance. Now I don't have grandparents any more. The latter happened on July 1, and I had been invited only 3 days in advance, incredible. But it was nice to see my younger cousin 'become serious' =)
*Again, there've been 2 important encounters so far this year - Jasmuheen and Eduardo Chianca. Jasmuheen visits Moscow and Saint-Petersburg every 2 years or so, but it was the first time she'd come after I'd learnt about her, and I was very happy to be able to participate in her workshop in May. We did a lot of meditations, I felt connected to/with the Universe. I had an opportunity to ask a couple of questions, out of the so many I have. Eduardo Chianca (pronounced 'shianka') is a healer from Brasil who travels the world giving lectures and workshops on Frequencies of Light (a method brought to us by the Pleiadians) and also giving private healing sessions. And this was the way I got acquainted with him and 2 more interesting people, Premavati and Elena.
*How I learnt of Eduardo is another story. Among all parts and organs of my physical body my lungs are most vulnerable and last winter I had a really bad cough, could hardly breathe. In May it came back even worse, I could walk only very slowly, with pauses to rest between floors. My body didn't want to help itself, and I didn't know which thought patterns I urgently needed to change to cure the emotional body first. The situation was awful. And then one day I receive an e-mail, sent out to many people I don't know, with an announcement about Eduardo's workshop and private sessions aimed at balancing chakras. I called the phone to ask how my e-mail got on that mailing list, but they couldn't answer, then we came to the conclusion that it could have been passed on by somebody who had taken our e-mails at Jasmuheen's workshop. I was interested in balancing chakras and asked about a private session and got on the list. The location for it was a room used by a Russian practitioner (Elena) not far from my place (some 30-40 minutes by marshrutka and tram), a pleasant fact bearing in mind distances and traffic in Moscow). So I got an appointment for myself and my Mum, it was part of my birthday present for her. I felt the session was very useful for me, I felt different afterwards (my Mum didn't feel anything, so we 'closed the topic'), Eduardo answered my questions, his answers and his questions and comments seemed sometimes superficial, sometimes very deep, he confirmed some of my guesses, but there was something which surprised me. Well, the thing about my lungs is related to the throat chakra, I need to express myself, my emotions, not to keep everything to me, to say what I think openly, but in a positive way. With my job I can't do it, I even lie about certain things, I can't say "you're naughty and you don't care a thing about this rule, why don't you tell your parents and don't come here again" to a pupil! And I haven't figured out how to change that yet. And I can't talk about things that really interest me with my dear people because they are not interested at all, they don't feel what I feel, they don't feel energies, they think I should think about money and getting married. It's very difficult for me not to be able to talk about this aspect of my life, and very sad. Any potential father of my future children around me now believes he and they must eat meat and is against my way. I think everybody can choose their way, we are on Earth for different experiences, so I accept both a meat-free and a meat diet and respect (or try to respect) people who eat meat or go hunting regardless. Nethertheless I am yet to meet a man who will accept or, better, want our children to be fed on a raw diet till they're 18 and choose for themselves.
*Premavati is Eduardo's interpreter (English-Russian) when he's in Russia. She is present during the beginning and the end of each session, and waits outside during the main part. So while I was waiting outside and she came out, we talked. There were more people, and I learnt some facts from her biography. She was one of those who brought the Krishna movement to the USSR, spread knowledge back then in the 80s, spent some time in prison for it. She's the director of the related radio station. She seems to know in person everyone I might ask about in this world now (Jasmuheen or the director of one publishing house in Moscow...). And she says she's the current reincarnation of StGermain... Whether it's true or not, I don't care. What's important for me is that I heard this only a couple of days after I had learnt about the violet flame! (The violet flame is said to be the healing instrument taught by StGermain)
*Elena is a practitioner who received initiations from Eduardo and now uses the Frequencies of Light. For my lungs one session with Eduardo wasn't enough.
2 weeks after that session I realised my lungs needed urgent help. I thought I was dying several times, ventolin (the medication for people who can't breathe well) didn't help any more, and I didn't want to use anything else, anything stronger (it was the only medication I used since I became a rawfoodist). My Mum insisted that I should go and see a doctor from the hospital which specialises in respiratory system problems. She found a way for me to get there, and I went. The doctor listened to my lungs, said what I knew myself, made some comments unrelated to the problem, and I started crying, my nerves were really very bad then, I was too sensitive. The traditional pulmonologist wanted to put me on a drip in hospital, I said no, thanked her and went away. I asked the Universe/the Source to bring me a way to cure my lungs, I wrote it down in my diary, and within a week I remembered about Elena, called her, made an appointment to check my chakras as we had agreed and I had such a bad cough while in her room, that she gave me an unplanned free session of Frequencies of Light. We had 3 more sessions and I drank 2 bottles of Si water (silicon dissolved in water in a special way so that it forms gel) called "Унигель". The result is unbelieable! One week of this treatment - and I can breathe again! I can sleep on the back! I feel the smells! It's fantastic. My gratitude was enormous. During the sessions I kept thanking the Pleiadians, Eduardo, Elena and God. Those were paid sessions. And after them Elena gave me a present of 4 sessions of EMF, and they were fantastic, especially the 4th one - one of the brightest experiences in my life.
Then, right before leaving Moscow for Bulgaria, I had 2 more sessions of Frequencies of Light (I love them). I'm so happy I was shown a medication-free way to cure my lungs! And I like the process, so I hope to be seeing Elena from time to time for another session. But of course, without my personal work on myself I won't progress.
*I love the centering exercise by Laura Silva Quesada. I read the free online Silva course, the last lesson is here (the other lessons are on the right)
*I read about Edgar Cayce, a name widely known in America but absolutely unknown in Russia. Some of his advice doesn't feel good to me, but I decided to follow his advice on cancer prevention and eat 3 almonds a day.
*I came across a bioshop in Burgas, a nice place, obviously less expensive than in the Netherlands or Belgium.
*Every day I see a new bird or animal here. There's a brown horse on the field next to Chernomorets. Once right before dawn I saw an owl on the neighbour's balcony, today I saw goats next to that horse. On my way to the beach I saw a tortoise crawling across the road. Some crabs, jellyfish, grey fish in the sea. And of course, kittens in the streets of Burgas, a lot of grasshoppers, spiders and mosquitoes on the field, in my flat.
*I know that people who feel energies much better than me say roses bring good energy, that bad energies don't like being with roses, and as I don't have a cat to let it enter the new flat first (it's a Russian and not only Russian tradition/superstition), I bought a vase with a rose on it and a cut rose. I love flowers! Living, in pots, and finishing their life, cut (they're doing a great job giving people positive emotions), so guys next time you see me, give me some flowers =)
The journey goes on.
*In Moscow, no real changes in my life. Starting mid-September, I'm going to work for the same 2 language schools, the same locations, to live in the same place. In March I took the CAE and got 93%, grade A, meaning my level is C2 (the Common European Framework of Reference for Languages), although the exam itself is aimed at C1. Before I realised I have a document saying 'C2' (the highest level of the current CEF), I'd already registered for the next CPE session. And I know what I must work on.
*In Bulgaria, in 2 weeks we're buying a studio next to Chernomorets, between Burgas and Sozopol, and I'm there now, cleaning everything after the workers and buying stuff. That is a huge change for me! The first time buying something that important, even that it's only a summer time property and, not being citizens of the EU, we won't have the right to live here for more than 3 months each half a year. We didn't have anything here, so step by step I started setting up home. A couple of days ago I bought something like a camp bed (like this) to sleep on, to have an alternative to my mat. Yesterday I had the kitchen installed, today I bought the first chair, for the balcony. =D
People of my age and social strata buy flats in Moscow, using mortgage, but they get married and have jobs in the corporate sector - obviously, I'm absolutely atypical in this respect.
*As for the diet and water consumption, not much change either. I try to eat more seasonal food, from the Moscow region, southern regions, Ukraine, Armenia, Uzbekistan when possible. Now in Bulgaria I buy produce from Bulgaria (2 kinds of blueberries, peaches, tomatoes, cherries, dill, green and red pepper, cucumbers, champinions) Greece (grapes, peaches), Turkey (carrots, lemons) or Italy (white grapes) (well, and almonds from the USA).
*There've been 2 important family-related things so far this year - my granny's death at the age of 82 (? she didn't know her exact age) and my cousin's wedding. The former was foreseen, and when I saw her on Dec 30, I realised it was the last time, as I was going to Scandinavia for the winter vacation planned well in advance. Now I don't have grandparents any more. The latter happened on July 1, and I had been invited only 3 days in advance, incredible. But it was nice to see my younger cousin 'become serious' =)
*Again, there've been 2 important encounters so far this year - Jasmuheen and Eduardo Chianca. Jasmuheen visits Moscow and Saint-Petersburg every 2 years or so, but it was the first time she'd come after I'd learnt about her, and I was very happy to be able to participate in her workshop in May. We did a lot of meditations, I felt connected to/with the Universe. I had an opportunity to ask a couple of questions, out of the so many I have. Eduardo Chianca (pronounced 'shianka') is a healer from Brasil who travels the world giving lectures and workshops on Frequencies of Light (a method brought to us by the Pleiadians) and also giving private healing sessions. And this was the way I got acquainted with him and 2 more interesting people, Premavati and Elena.
*How I learnt of Eduardo is another story. Among all parts and organs of my physical body my lungs are most vulnerable and last winter I had a really bad cough, could hardly breathe. In May it came back even worse, I could walk only very slowly, with pauses to rest between floors. My body didn't want to help itself, and I didn't know which thought patterns I urgently needed to change to cure the emotional body first. The situation was awful. And then one day I receive an e-mail, sent out to many people I don't know, with an announcement about Eduardo's workshop and private sessions aimed at balancing chakras. I called the phone to ask how my e-mail got on that mailing list, but they couldn't answer, then we came to the conclusion that it could have been passed on by somebody who had taken our e-mails at Jasmuheen's workshop. I was interested in balancing chakras and asked about a private session and got on the list. The location for it was a room used by a Russian practitioner (Elena) not far from my place (some 30-40 minutes by marshrutka and tram), a pleasant fact bearing in mind distances and traffic in Moscow). So I got an appointment for myself and my Mum, it was part of my birthday present for her. I felt the session was very useful for me, I felt different afterwards (my Mum didn't feel anything, so we 'closed the topic'), Eduardo answered my questions, his answers and his questions and comments seemed sometimes superficial, sometimes very deep, he confirmed some of my guesses, but there was something which surprised me. Well, the thing about my lungs is related to the throat chakra, I need to express myself, my emotions, not to keep everything to me, to say what I think openly, but in a positive way. With my job I can't do it, I even lie about certain things, I can't say "you're naughty and you don't care a thing about this rule, why don't you tell your parents and don't come here again" to a pupil! And I haven't figured out how to change that yet. And I can't talk about things that really interest me with my dear people because they are not interested at all, they don't feel what I feel, they don't feel energies, they think I should think about money and getting married. It's very difficult for me not to be able to talk about this aspect of my life, and very sad. Any potential father of my future children around me now believes he and they must eat meat and is against my way. I think everybody can choose their way, we are on Earth for different experiences, so I accept both a meat-free and a meat diet and respect (or try to respect) people who eat meat or go hunting regardless. Nethertheless I am yet to meet a man who will accept or, better, want our children to be fed on a raw diet till they're 18 and choose for themselves.
*Premavati is Eduardo's interpreter (English-Russian) when he's in Russia. She is present during the beginning and the end of each session, and waits outside during the main part. So while I was waiting outside and she came out, we talked. There were more people, and I learnt some facts from her biography. She was one of those who brought the Krishna movement to the USSR, spread knowledge back then in the 80s, spent some time in prison for it. She's the director of the related radio station. She seems to know in person everyone I might ask about in this world now (Jasmuheen or the director of one publishing house in Moscow...). And she says she's the current reincarnation of StGermain... Whether it's true or not, I don't care. What's important for me is that I heard this only a couple of days after I had learnt about the violet flame! (The violet flame is said to be the healing instrument taught by StGermain)
*Elena is a practitioner who received initiations from Eduardo and now uses the Frequencies of Light. For my lungs one session with Eduardo wasn't enough.
2 weeks after that session I realised my lungs needed urgent help. I thought I was dying several times, ventolin (the medication for people who can't breathe well) didn't help any more, and I didn't want to use anything else, anything stronger (it was the only medication I used since I became a rawfoodist). My Mum insisted that I should go and see a doctor from the hospital which specialises in respiratory system problems. She found a way for me to get there, and I went. The doctor listened to my lungs, said what I knew myself, made some comments unrelated to the problem, and I started crying, my nerves were really very bad then, I was too sensitive. The traditional pulmonologist wanted to put me on a drip in hospital, I said no, thanked her and went away. I asked the Universe/the Source to bring me a way to cure my lungs, I wrote it down in my diary, and within a week I remembered about Elena, called her, made an appointment to check my chakras as we had agreed and I had such a bad cough while in her room, that she gave me an unplanned free session of Frequencies of Light. We had 3 more sessions and I drank 2 bottles of Si water (silicon dissolved in water in a special way so that it forms gel) called "Унигель". The result is unbelieable! One week of this treatment - and I can breathe again! I can sleep on the back! I feel the smells! It's fantastic. My gratitude was enormous. During the sessions I kept thanking the Pleiadians, Eduardo, Elena and God. Those were paid sessions. And after them Elena gave me a present of 4 sessions of EMF, and they were fantastic, especially the 4th one - one of the brightest experiences in my life.
Then, right before leaving Moscow for Bulgaria, I had 2 more sessions of Frequencies of Light (I love them). I'm so happy I was shown a medication-free way to cure my lungs! And I like the process, so I hope to be seeing Elena from time to time for another session. But of course, without my personal work on myself I won't progress.
*I love the centering exercise by Laura Silva Quesada. I read the free online Silva course, the last lesson is here (the other lessons are on the right)
*I read about Edgar Cayce, a name widely known in America but absolutely unknown in Russia. Some of his advice doesn't feel good to me, but I decided to follow his advice on cancer prevention and eat 3 almonds a day.
*I came across a bioshop in Burgas, a nice place, obviously less expensive than in the Netherlands or Belgium.
*Every day I see a new bird or animal here. There's a brown horse on the field next to Chernomorets. Once right before dawn I saw an owl on the neighbour's balcony, today I saw goats next to that horse. On my way to the beach I saw a tortoise crawling across the road. Some crabs, jellyfish, grey fish in the sea. And of course, kittens in the streets of Burgas, a lot of grasshoppers, spiders and mosquitoes on the field, in my flat.
*I know that people who feel energies much better than me say roses bring good energy, that bad energies don't like being with roses, and as I don't have a cat to let it enter the new flat first (it's a Russian and not only Russian tradition/superstition), I bought a vase with a rose on it and a cut rose. I love flowers! Living, in pots, and finishing their life, cut (they're doing a great job giving people positive emotions), so guys next time you see me, give me some flowers =)
Friday, February 11, 2011
Recent research on meditation
Recent research results
After a wonderful yoga&meditation retreat in Spain last November I practised relaxation using the Silva centering exercise (download from here) for a while, but not even tried meditation. Somehow it doesn't want to come to me yet =(
=)
After a wonderful yoga&meditation retreat in Spain last November I practised relaxation using the Silva centering exercise (download from here) for a while, but not even tried meditation. Somehow it doesn't want to come to me yet =(
=)
Thursday, January 27, 2011
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